Conquering Caroline

Conquering Caroline
(An Arlen Graber Story)
by Paxton Cambridge

It was the second week of my freshman year at East Coast Christian University when I decided I wanted Caroline Randall. I’m not sure why I chose her, really, except that I did like the name. It sounded somewhat old fashioned and musical – Car-o-line; much nicer that Carolyn, which was clipped and unbalanced. Somehow little things like that appealed to me. It didn’t hurt that she was very curvaceous, and as friendly as hell. She was perky and would talk to anyone, even Dr. Prince, Dean of Men, and the Captain Klink of Stalag ECCU.

I have only one name, Arlen Graber, but in reality I’m two people. I was raised in a religious home where we were taught high regard for Christianity and clean living, but my parents didn’t practice it. We were made to be polite and treat others decently but lived with shouting cursing and violence on a daily basis. We were made to go to church, respect scripture and piety. But, I never saw my father or mother pray or read the Bible. In spite of that; or maybe because of it, I wanted to be a Pastor.

In high school I never dated much. Though I had strong desires toward girls, my religious teaching prohibited me from acting on them. Not that it would have mattered much. We were poor and without social standing. I had but three changes of clothing and those hand-me-downs. That didn’t exactly make me the most popular guy with the girls in an upscale suburban school.

In 1969 I graduated from high school and enrolled in Religious Studies at East Coast Christian University, in Baltimore, Maryland. From there I planned to go to seminary. Thanks to the generosity of my church and some part time summer jobs, I arrived with a new wardrobe and a wholly new attitude toward the ladies. In a short time I became a very popular guy. I liked to joke around, was not bad looking, and had an athletic physique. I had a part time job and a little money to spend. But that was when I discovered I was really two people.

I could preach a hell fire and brimstone sermon. I was one of the best Bible scholars my professors had ever seen. I was a leader and a moralizer. But, my other life, which had been filled with sexual frustration, took a whole new direction. I could make out with the best of them. I made love to girls in the backseat of my car, behind the darkened stacks in the library. In the stairwells, the corners of the courtyard at night, in the farmer’s field just off campus, at drive-ins and on dark lanes overlooking the bay.

Philosophically I found nothing wrong with that. I was doing both things that I wanted so much to do and could not see what one would have to do with the other. It was not a Jekyll and Hyde situation. There was no good side and no evil side. I had a righteous side and a practical side. They were both me and they were both good. No dualistic Gnosticism for me.

I had just spent three nights with Sally Rogers, and I was getting tired of her. I don’t really like girls as people. The degrees of stupidity are astounding. I just like what they can do. Sally did it well, but I wanted to expand my horizons. You see, I’m unable to love anyone. I have no strong emotions like love or hate. So I figure the next best thing is to make love to everyone. Caroline didn’t know it yet, but she was going to be next.

The major problem was that she had a boyfriend. Adam Crosswell was an upperclassman like Caroline. A Junior I think. He was a stuffed shirt and a suck-up and very popular with the faculty. He treated the freshmen like shit. She wasn’t anything like that, but she liked him and had his class ring. Caroline was one of those girls who’s so goddamn loyal to her man she reminded you of “Lassie.” I had to get her pissed off at him somehow if I was ever to get a clear shot at her.

You have to remember that I was new to this. I was just getting my start. I was extremely bright, but there’s a lot you learn only through experience. I had about a dozen girls on my prospect list already and it was only the second week of school. I hadn’t managed to cross any of them off yet except Sally. Sally was easy; no complications there. This one was going to be a challenge.

I was sitting next to her in the library.

“Excuse me, Caroline, but my name is…”

“Arlen Graber, you’re Arlen aren’t you? Sally Rogers and I were just talking about you.”

Oh gawd! That’s just what I needed. That stupid bitch had probably spilled her guts about our little adventure and Caroline would be on her guard. This was going to be even tougher than I thought.

“Well, you can’t believe everything Sally says. She tends to exaggerate.”

“I don’t think so this time, Arlen. She told me what a wonderful gentleman you are. She really likes you, told me you were thinking of giving her your class ring. I think you should. It would thrill her.”

Yeah, I thought, like I should crap in my pants to and wear it too. The last thing I wanted to do was thrill her again. It was all I could take the last time.

“I’m glad to hear that. Sally is a real nice girl. Maybe I’ll do that. Say, maybe you and Adam could double with us. I’d like to meet him. He must be a pretty cool guy. I think he dated Sally for a while.”

“I think that would be cool. I’m sure Adam already knows Sally well, and I know he’d like to meet you.”

There was no doubt about that. You could count on one hand the upperclassmen who didn’t know Sally well. It was only the second week of school and I would bet that half of the freshman guys knew Sally well. She had to be taking them in groups. If I only had known that before I… Oh well, I had to admit it was fun, not exactly satisfying to my ego, but it was fun.

“Great! You discuss it with Adam and I’ll talk to Sally.”

No, I hadn’t lost my mind. If I was going to work Adam, I had to get to know him. He wouldn’t even look at a lowly freshman like me if I went to him. But if his girlfriend introduced me it would make all the difference. The question was would Sally go along, and even more importantly, could I stand being with her again.


I couldn’t let Sally know I was looking for her, so it was two days later before I had my opportunity. Fortunately for me she had left a calling card. I saw her in the cafeteria with Sue Anne. I walked over and sat across from her next to Sue Anne. She was on my list too.

“Well hello, Awland,” Sue Anne drawled. She always put a d on the end of my name for some damn reason. “Y’all been busy lately? Ahh haven’t seen y’all all week.”

I had to get rid of her. I thought I knew how to do it. She was wearing a skirt and I put my hand on her bare knee. She looked surprised but said nothing.

“I have been, girl, and that’s a shame, because I really want to stay in touch with you.”

“Well, if y’all will excuse me,” She said pushing my hand off and pressing her legs tightly together. “I believe I have to go. I’ll see y’all soon.”

She got up and frowned down at my smiling face, picked up her tray and left.

“Not so smooth a move there, cowboy,” Sally said. “You have to be more subtle with those southern girls.”

Good, she thought I had just sat down there just to hustle Sue Anne.

“Sally, why the hell do you insist on calling me cowboy? I grew up in Pittsburgh, you know, in the city?”

“Because I could tell just by watching you that you’re planning a roundup. I know what you are and what you’re trying to do. The only thing is I don’t understand why. It’s more than the normal heped up teen boy hormones, isn’t it? You’re what, twenty three maybe?”

“Twenty two, actually; won’t be twenty three until January. But look, I didn’t come over here to talk about my age, or to put a move on Sue Anne. I came to bring you something you left in my room last night,” I pulled a pair of purple underwear out of my pocket, held them up and let them slowly slide out of my fingers and drop on her tray.

She handed them back to me and said, “Keep them as a souvenir, cowboy. You can wear them if you want. And remember, there’s more where those came from.”

Oh Gawd I was would hate myself for what I was going to do next – if I could hate.

“I may just want to have a matching set, girl. Would you be interested in…”

“Yes!”

I forgot myself. “Damn stupid bitch, you don’t even know what I was going to ask you to do!”

Oh no, I don’t know why I said those kind of things to her. She just brought out the worst in me. I was sure that I had just blown it.

“Doesn’t matter cowboy. Just tell me where, when and how you want it. You’re the best!”

Well now, this was going to be easier than I thought. She was willing, but was she ready to go along with the plan when it involved me compromising another girl?

I hesitated too long. I gave her time to think. Even stupid bitches can think if you give them enough time, unless they’re blond, that is.

“What’s her name?”

“What’s whose name?”

“The new girl. You’re planning to get laid aren’t you? You need me for some kind of scheme, don’t you? I’m not so vain as to think that you are as anxious to be with me as I am to be with you.”

She was incredible. How could she see through me that way? Nobody could do that. I’d been examined by some of the best psychiatrists in the country. They couldn’t do that. She must have had an IQ of what, at most, ten or twenty? How was it she seemed to know what I was thinking before I thought it? I was taking too much for granted. I would have to be more careful around her. She could get in the way.


Saturday evening we walked into Tony’s Italian Restaurant in Bel Air. We were late. I had no car and had to depend on Sally. Her car was low on gas so we had to stop at the Sunoco station. The attendant tried to keep a straight face as he walked up to the pink convertible with white interior and greeted us.

Sally said, “Fill me up!”

It’s just a damn good thing I can’t be embarrassed. But I have to admit it did make me uncomfortable. Especially when he saw the bumper sticker that said, “Honk if you like my REAR END,” laughed, and gave me the thumbs up.

They were waiting for us just inside the door.

“Adam, I’m sure you know Sally,” Caroline said, “This is Arlen Garber.”

Sally looked right into his eyes as she said that bit about him knowing her and he flushed a bit and put on a poker face.

He shook my hand and said, “Well Arlen, I’m pleased to meet you. You look a little old to be a freshman. Take you a few more years than normal to get through high school?” He said in a very condescending tone and laughed.

“No, actually Adam, I was in prison,” I said. Everyone laughed.

Adam moved quickly to the hostess station and she showed us to a nice little table in the corner, covered with a plaid table cloth. There was a candle in a wine bottle, draped in layers of wax, in the center of the table. After we ordered there was an uneasy silence as Adam looked across the table at Sally. It was obvious that he was concerned about what Sally might say or do, and that he didn’t want to be here. Apparently the moron couldn’t think of an excuse fast enough when Caroline had suggested we double.

“Sally, I’m real glad you told me about you and Arlen,” Caroline said. “Isn’t this real nice, Adam?”

“Sure, it’s always nice to be with Sal.. I mean to see you Sally.”

“I feel the same way Adam, you’ve had such an impact on me,” Sally said and winked at him.”

Wow! She was good. She had him squirming already and Caroline was slowly picking up on it. I wasn’t sure where Sally was headed with this, but I was going to try to stay out of the way.

All through the meal the three of us, Sally, Caroline and I, chatted and joked. Adam spent some time boasting about his GPA and his golf game. But after a while he said very little and seemed nervous. But he wasn’t just nervous. He was getting turned on. I didn’t find out until later, but at some point Sally had taken off her shoe and was running her foot up and down his leg. He kept glancing over at Caroline and me to see if we had noticed. I didn’t think she had and so I pretended not to. It turned out I was wrong about that.

We ordered desert and the girls decided to go to the restroom. They always go in a flock, so I was left alone with Adam.

“What’s going on here, Graber?” He said in a semi-desperate but angry voice.

“Well I met her the first week of school, she’s a nice girl and…”

“No! You know what I’m talking about. You’re no dumbass football player and neither am I. What are you trying to do to me? She’s trying to get me cranked right in front of Caroline. You’ve got to stop her. I don’t know what you’re up to, but you don’t want to take me on.”

“I don’t have to jerk, Sally seems to be doing fine on her own. By the time she’s done you’ll be slobbering in your beer.”

“That ain’t happening. I’m leaving as soon as Caroline gets back. The hell with desert,” he said and stood up next to his chair.

He didn’t see her coming, but I did. She moved quickly before Caroline opened the door. She tripped and yelped. He turned toward her and she fell on him. When Caroline opened the door to the ladies room she saw him with his arms around Sally’s waist, his hands on her butt and her head on his shoulder. Sally held tight and the more he squirmed the worse it looked. I stood there with a look that said I would like to kill Adam. Caroline glared at them. She took off his ring and threw it at him.

“Arlen, would you be a gentleman and take me home,” Caroline said with a splutter. She was winding up tight and really steamed at him.

“Sorry, I don’t have a car.”

Still holding on to him Sally tossed me the keys. “Take mine,” she said, “Adam and I need to talk; don’t we honey? He’ll make sure I get home. Caroline is obviously upset with me and the way Adam is acting. I’m sorry you guys had to find out this way. If Adam hadn’t drunk so much this wouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry Arlen.”

“Caroline, please, this isn’t what it seems like,” Adam said with desperation in his voice that made it sound even more like a lie. “I told you it was over with her and I meant it. Sally means nothing to me now. Tell her Sally. Arlen is behind this. He’s trying to break us up.”

She refused to even look at him as we went out to the car. I opened the door for her, jumped in, started the car and was laying rubber out of the lot before he ever got to the door.

I waited for her to settle down some and then I said, “I’m sorry. I never would have guessed. Sally said she had given him up or I never would have dated her. And I certainly wouldn’t have asked you to double with us. This is all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault Arlen. They both lied to me. Sally told me that they had an affair, only she called it a three day orgy. She said it didn’t really mean anything; that he didn’t want her any more. When I confronted him, he told me the same thing and like a dunce I believed him.”

“Well I wasn’t all that involved with Sally and I’m thankful I wasn’t. I hadn’t given her a ring, mainly because I don’t have one yet. But I still feel like crap. No guy wants to go out with a girl while she plays hanky-panky with another guy right in front of you.”

She reached over and took my hand. “You’re a good guy. Thank you for taking me home.”

I dropped her at the dorm, turned the car around and drove back to Tony’s. She was sitting on the steps waiting for me.

“It’s about time, Graber. And you owe me in more ways than one. I got stuck with the damn check.”

I had no choice but to take her back to the dorm with me.


My alarm went off at seven the next morning. I had drive to Fork Christian Church to preach. I will filling-in for the pastor who was ill. It wasn’t a long drive, but I didn’t have time last night to finish the sermon. Not with Sally there that is. The alarm didn’t wake her up but it did wake up Gary, my roommate.

“Arlen, the next time you decide to bring a tart home with you, would you please let me know so I can go somewhere else to sleep. I finally got to sleep at three and you guys were still going at it.”

“Look flake, I gave you two invitations to join us.”

“I’m not like you. I have to know and like a girl before I… Not that I’m a prude or anything, but Arlen, It’s Sally we’re taking about. You can do better guy!”

“It’s a long story, but I owed her. Now go back to sleep, I have to finish this sermon and be at Fork by ten thirty.”

“You aren’t just gonna leave her here are you?

“Gary, she’s asleep, she’s not going to bother you.”

“Well what if she wakes up?”

“You’ll just have to humor her.”

“Arrgh! He said and pulled the covers over his head.

Before I left I pinned the second pair of panties to my bulletin board next to the list. They were pink and frilly this time with “Saturday” imprinted across the rear.

When I got back I parked and went directly to the Carriage House, a coffee and snack shop on campus. I saw Adam leaving and he didn’t look happy. I waited near a tree where he couldn’t see me. I wasn’t afraid of him. I could take him pretty easy in a fair fight. But, I never fight fair so he wouldn’t have a chance. I just wanted to avoid complications.

I went in and there was Caroline sitting at a table by herself. I had to be careful. I couldn’t move too fast, so I sat down at an empty table across the room from her, but in her line of sight. She had her head down. It was obvious that she had been crying again. When she finally looked up I quickly looked away. She saw me. She got up and came over and sat down opposite me.

“Hi Arlen,” She said, her voice flat and her face absent the usually perkiness.

I answered the same way. “Hi Caroline.”

There was a period of awkward silence since I said no more.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she said with a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

“Mind? Of course not,” I said, sounding a little hopeful myself. “You want some coffee or something?”

“Sure, why not?” she said as if it didn’t matter to her, but she was warming up a bit.

I watched her in the mirror behind the counter as I went to get the coffee. She wasn’t sure what to do next. I think she wanted to talk about last night but was a bit embarrassed to do so.

“Two sugars and a dab of milk, right?” I said as I set the mug down in front of her.

“That’s right, you’re very observant. Adam could never remember that.”

At the mention of his name I looked down at my feet and pretended to be uneasy.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you feel bad about losing Sally, but maybe we’re both better off, knowing now. I mean, you could have gotten really involved and not known.”

I looked up at her and gave her a tentative smile. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ve heard other things about Sally today. I heard she was with some guy in his dorm room all night last night.”

Her face darkened and her brow furrowed. “Probably with him! He tried to tell me that Sally just tripped last night and he caught her. I saw the look she had in her eyes and it wasn’t fear or surprise. I saw his hands on her… that’s a funny place to grab someone when their falling. And the look he gave me. There was guilt written all over his face. They were probably foolin’ around the whole time. I saw how flushed his face was. Like a fool I thought it was me that was getting to him. Oh Arlen, how could I have been so stupid?”

“Caroline, you’re not stupid. You’re just very open and trusting. I admire that in a girl, but there are some guys who will take advantage of it. If you’ll pardon my language, they’re just bastards.”

I reached over and took her hand. “I don’t think I could get interested in anybody for a while. I still feel a little hurt over Sally. But, I would like to be your friend; to have someone to talk to. Someone who understands how I feel,” I said looking at her eyes, then lowering mine to the table and her hand.

“Of course you can. You can talk to me anytime you want,” she said, putting her other hand on top of mine.

This was progress. I had to fight my impatience to keep from going too far and
spoiling it all. My instinct was to strike while the iron was hot, but it wasn’t really hot yet. I didn’t have either thing that I needed. I didn’t know what Caroline liked more than anything else, and I didn’t know what her greatest fear was. Until I knew that; until I had the carrot and the stick; I would have to be patient.

Caroline and I began meeting at lunch the next week. I had to bribe Sally to stay away. You can imagine what kind of bribe it was. Adam would often enter the cafeteria, see us, hesitate, glare at me and move on to sit at a table with his buddies. I was being real smooth with her, not showing much romantic interest at all. It was difficult for me to have patience with this so Sally came in rather handy.

After about two weeks Adam was getting really steamed. One day I was rushing down the back stairwell at old main and he was coming up from the lower level. We met at the landing on the main floor. I had my arms full of books, so he had the advantage. He shoved me hard against the wall. Since I wasn’t ready, it knocked the wind out of me.

“Graber I’m not putting up with much more of your crap,” he said. Other students stared as they passed us. “I know what you’re up to. You stay away from her. I worked hard all last spring to get her and I think she was just about to cave when you barged in. Back off or you’ll get your ass kicked.”

I dropped my books and grabbed him by the shirt with both hands popping two buttons. I turned and slammed him against the wall. Just then Dr. Prince, the Dean of Men opened the door and stepped onto the landing.

“Graber, just what’s going on here? Let Adam go!”

“Just a little difference of opinion, sir; I’m afraid it got somewhat heated,” I said, releasing my grip on Adam.

“Well, you’ll learn that we don’t settle our differences around her in that manner. Report to my office at four this afternoon. Don’t be late. Are you alright, Adam?”

He stepped back from me but we never broke eye contact.

“I’m fine,” he said to Dr. Prince.

“Just remember what I said, Graber,” he said and charged up the stairs.


The next day I was on my way to Dr. Prince’s office with the rough draft of the research project on “Civility” he had assigned to me as punishment. I’d stayed up late and had to send Sally packing to get it done. As I passed the opening in the eight foot high stone wall that surrounded the courtyard between Old Main and the Coach House, I saw them. He had her cornered between two flowerbeds with her back to the wall. I stayed out of sight but watched them. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Adam was very animated. The look on Caroline’s face was of doubt but her posture revealed a certain openness. The more he talked, the more she relaxed. A couple of times she even smiled. He briefly took her hand, then turned and left. He didn’t see me, but as he passed by the opening I saw a smug look on his face. This could not be good for me.


I decided it would be too obvious for me to approach her now, so I decided to wait until lunch time. When I entered the cafeteria I was too late. He was sitting across from her and they were chatting. I sat down a few tables away where I could watch them. He had his back to me.

“You know what your problem is cowboy? You’re so damn smart you underestimate people.”

It was Sally. She shoved in and sat down on the same side with me as close as she could get.

“It don’t take an IQ of 160 to be a smooth talker. Besides, he’s been at this longer than you. There’s a real difference between the girls you hung with in High School who used to lay down for money or drugs, you know.”

“Dammit, Sally. What if they see you with me? Girl, you get this straight. I never paid out to any girl. Might have spent some money to get me there, but I never gave them any.

“You’re right about one thing though; I have underestimated him. It’s becoming a bad habit with me. I underestimated you in at least two areas. There’s nothing I can do now but wait for him to make a mistake, and he will make a mistake. When he does I’ll blow him out of the water.

“This is about more than Caroline, Isn’t it? Sally said, It’s about you and Adam now.”

“You’re damn right about that. The punk slammed me against a wall. Nobody does that to Arlen Graber; nobody! He’s gonna pay for that and he’s not gonna get Caroline before I do. After I’m done with both of them she can have him; if there’s anything left of him.”

Sally got very quiet. She thought I was angry. I don’t get angry, that’s an emotion. I just get determined. I never have understood why people automatically assume that I’m angry when I speak in a loud and aggressive tone.

Later that afternoon I saw Caroline in the library. I piled my books on the table, pulled the chair out across the table from her and pretended I hadn’t noticed her. When I sat down she looked at me.

“Arlen, where have you been? I’ve got some good news to tell you.”

“Oh, Hi Caroline. Been kind of busy lately and when I came in at lunch time you were with Adam. I didn’t want to intrude. So what’s up?”

“Well, you remember how Adam said that Sally was just trying to break us up?”

“As I remember it he accused me of trying to break you up.”

“Well, now he knows it was Sally. I don’t think he blames you at all. I think he likes you Arlen. He said he thinks Sally was just using you to get to him. You know what I found out?

“Don’t have a clue.”

“It wasn’t Adam Sally spent the night with, that night. It was someone in your dorm. I don’t know who, but one of the girls saw her come out of there in the morning. I think I’ve been wrong about Adam. He’s always been so sweet to me. Why last spring he took me horseback riding almost every week. He knows I love horses more than anything else in the world.

“You like horseback riding?”

“Yeah, got a nice horse of my own back home, name’s Starbright. That’s because when I got her when I was little. I wished on a star, you know ‘starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight… Do you ride, Arlen?”

“Do I ride? Girl, some of my friends call me ‘cowboy’”

“Wonderful, maybe we could ride together sometime. Adam hasn’t been able to take me because of his schedule this year. Plus he’s on the debating team and gone most weekends.”

“I think that would be nice. I’ll try to arrange something soon,” I said with feigned excitement in my voice. I had never been on a horse in my life; never even been close to one. But, now I knew what I needed to know. I had the carrot. Sooner or later she would give me the stick.


Friday night we were lying in bed. Gary was staying with his girlfriend, Emma, that night. I had nowhere to go this weekend and it had been a long time. We were lying on our backs resting for the next session.

“I need a horse,” I said looking straight up at the ceiling.

Sally stared at the ceiling and her face formed a puzzled expression. She turned her head toward me slightly and said, “A horse? Arlen I’ve been around the block a few times but I don’t know what that position is.”

“Stupid Bitch, a horse, you know one of those animals people ride on in the westerns. I need a horse.”

“Arlen, that’s too kinky. I don’t do whips or animals, except the human kind.”

“Will you stop it?! I need a horse, really. I need to learn to ride on horseback. I’ve read everything in the library about equestrian pursuits, but I need practical training.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s the carrot.”

“I wish I knew what the hell you are talking about, but I don’t have a clue. You want to feed a carrot to a horse and go riding? Is this some childhood fantasy? Just because I call you cowboy doesn’t mean you have to…”

I sat up and glared at her. “Are you done with your imitation of Phyllis Diller? I’m serious, Caroline loves riding horses. It’s my way to get to her, except I don’t know how to ride.”

She sat up next to me. “You’re serious about this aren’t you?

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been telling you, you stupid…”

“This is Maryland. Look around you. There are horse farms everywhere. Go sign up for lessons.”

“Easier said than done; It’s expensive and I don’t have much cash.”

“Arlen you’re smart, but you’re also strong as an ox. Talk to one of the owners. Get yourself a job at one of the farms. I bet that would impress her even more; you can learn to ride without her ever knowing you couldn’t.”

I had to admit, she was smart for a stupid bitch.

I could tell she was tired of talking. I decided we’d experiment and see if we could actually invent something called a “horse.” It took us most of the night.


The sign over the gate read “Cloverleaf Farms.” I walked down the dirt lane to the two-story immaculately kept frame house. There was no one there. I walked across the yard to the end of the long single story stable. There were horses in the corral, pawing and snorting at me. So far it didn’t look good. I went in and it took awhile for my eyes to adjust to the darkened interior. I saw a man with his back to me throwing straw into a stall with a pitchfork.

“Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the owner?”

When he turned I got a shock. It was a woman; a woman in at least her sixties, maybe much older. Her face was darkened from the sun and deeply wrinkled in places, but there was a softness, a hint of a much more glowing beauty in her youth. Her eyes were blue and sparkled. She removed her cap and soft, full white hair dropped to her shoulders and almost covered her eyes.

“I’m the owner, young man. What is it you want? The bridle path rides are only held on Saturday and Sunday, so unless you have an animal boarded with us, you have to wait till then.”

“No ma’am, my name is Arlen Graber. I’m a student at ECCU. I need to learn to ride.”

“Well, Arlen Graber, my name is Marcia Martin, but I’m afraid we aren’t giving lessons here. At the moment that is. We did until my son had surgery on his back. He won’t be back here for a month. You could come back then. It’s all I can do to keep up with the chores.”

“I can’t do that, Mrs. Martin, I need to learn to ride right away.”

“Well, you can go over to Sleepy Meadows. They’re a much bigger outfit. It will cost you more, though.”

I lowered my head and shuffled my feet. “Well you see, that’s the problem; I don’t have any money, but I was hoping,.. that is… I was hoping you would give me a job and pay me by teaching me to ride.”

Mrs. Martin looked shocked. She set the pitchfork in the hay and started to laugh. So, this wasn’t going to work. I guess I would have to try some other farms. I picked this one because it was across the road from campus. She quit laughing and looked at me with a warm and friendly smile.

“What’s her name, son?”

“Excuse me?”

“What’s the name of the girl you’re doing this for? She must be quite some gal to get a city slicker like you to work on a farm.”

I smiled sheepishly. “Caroline, her name is Caroline.”

“Don’t be embarrassed son, that’s how I ended up with this farm. My husband John was raised in the city. He met me at an amusement park. When he found out I liked horses he came here as a stable hand. He learned to ride well; then brought me here. You might say he swept me off my saddle. Proposed to me on horseback in those woods a mile or two behind the woodshed. We eventually saved up the money to buy the place and it’s been our home for fifty years or more. He died last spring. The place just isn’t the same without him.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like you had a great life her though. Well, I got some other places to check. Thank you for your time Mrs. Martin,” I said and turned to walk out of the barn. I got nearly to the door when I heard her call my mane.

“Arlen – wait a moment. We’ve never used hired hands here before. Always had John and the kids; a family thing, you know. But, with James sick and the others too far away, just maybe I could use some help.

I turned and looked at her in surprise. “You’re serious, you’d let me work here?”

“Now it would be just until James gets better. I hope you know what you’re getting into son. Working a farm is hard work. Can you keep up with that and your school work too?”

“I’m sure I can. My friend says I’m smart and as strong as an ox. I can come early in the morning before classes and be here after my classes are over in the afternoon.”

“You got yourself a deal Mr. Graber. I see that you learn to ride like Buffalo Bill Cody, and I’ll pay you anything you earn over the normal cost of lessons. Be here first thing in the morning.


It was hard work and that was fine. I was used to running and working out to keep myself in shape. The work at the barn just took the place of that. In fact, it probably would do more for my arms and my abs than anything I had been doing at the gym. But there was one thing I hadn’t counted on; the smell. Horses have an odor all their own, not to mention what comes out their rear end. That was my job at six in the morning; to clean out all the stalls.

After a while I got used to it and didn’t even notice it much. But, Gary, my roommate did. When I came in from work in the morning to get ready for classes he had an eternal fit. I really didn’t blame him. The stuff lingers in everything. After the first few days I got up the courage to ask Mrs. Martin if I could shower and change there, before leaving for school. Next thing you know she started making me breakfast. We got to be real good friends.

In the first week I got to know all the horses by name and could get a feel for the temperament of each animal. They were like people, no two exactly alike. The lessons went well. Before even mounting a horse she taught me how to put on the saddle and bridle and about other livery. She started me in a circle in the corral. She stood in the center with a long rope. After awhile she took the horse out of the corral and walked along the path with me. Over time she would let go longer and longer so I was in control. Finally, she let me take the horse out by myself.

One afternoon, Warrior, the horse I had learned to ride on pulled away from Mrs. Martin and trotted over to me as I entered the gate.

“Well, Arlen, looks like you’ve made a friend. You can choose to ride any horse, but when a horse chooses you; why that’s something special.”


One Thursday I asked for the afternoon off because I had midterms on Friday. I knew the subjects pretty well, but I didn’t just want to pass, I wanted to ace them. My goal was to maintain the highest grade point average of anyone in the history of the school and I didn’t want anything to stand in the way of that achievement.

I was in the library since it wasn’t nearly quiet enough in the dorm to study. I didn’t notice her until she sat directly across from me.

“Hi Arlen, getting ready for midterms?

I looked up and it was Caroline. I just knew God had to have set up this meeting. I had been trying to think of a way to meet up with her, but she was so tight now with Adam that they were seldom separated.

“I heard that you’re working at Cloverleaft Farms now. Is that true?

“Yeah, they needed some extra help; someone who was really good with horses, I agreed to help out. Gives me a chance to ride again. I’ve really missed that, you know.”

“Oh Yeah, I know. I really miss my horse and I haven’t been riding since school started.”

“I’ve got my horse, Warrior, boarded there so I can stay close to him. Go riding almost every day when the chores are done.”

She shrugged her shoulders hard and breathed a deep sigh. He face went all pouty.

“Adam’s too busy to take me riding. I’ve asked him several times, but he’s always got something else to do. Not that I’m complaining, we do see a lot of each other. We just don’t go riding like we used to.”

I knew something that she didn’t know and I knew it because his roommate told me one day when Adam had pissed him off. Adam couldn’t ride because he had gotten a groin injury in the summer playing soccer. He apparently wasn’t going to tell her for fear it would hurt his chances.

“Well, I’d be glad to take you, except that I don’t want to upset Adam. I don’t think he’d understand and I don’t want to mess up your relationship.”

She looked disappointed. I think she was trying to think of some way to make this work without upsetting him. She leaned way over the table toward me and spoke in a voice just above a whisper.

“Arlen, we could go when Adam is away with the debating team on Saturday. That way he’d have no reason to be upset. I mean, he’d never have to know, would he. And it wouldn’t be a date, just two friends spending some time together.”

“I don’t know, after that episode with Sally. I mean he was really upset with me. He actually shoved me on the stairs. Dr. Prince was there and saw the whole thing. I think somebody got punished for that, if you know what I mean. He seems to be a pretty violent guy.”

She sat up straight in her chair and crossed her arms in frustration. “Well, I guess if you’re afraid of him…”

“Afraid! I never said I was afraid of him. I just don’t want to see you hurt again. I don’t think you really know him. I’m not sure he really cares about your feelings. Listen, I’m telling you this as a friend. He told me he was ‘working’ you last spring and that he thought you were – and these were his exact words – ‘just about to cave.’ There were other people there on the landing. I’m sure they heard it. It must be all over campus by now.”

Her frustration turned to anger and she pulled her arms even tighter.

“How dare he say a thing like that? I’m going to find him and ask him point blank about that.”

“I don’t blame you, girl. But if you do, he’ll probably deny it and come after me again. I won’t ever be able to take you to the Cloverleaf then. He’ll be on his guard.”

She slumped back in her chair like she was a balloon that someone had just let the air out of.

“Yeah, you’re right. That’s Adam; that’s just how he’ll react.”

She sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Then she leaned way over the table again.

“Let’s do it! Please Arlen. Let’s do it this Saturday. He’ll never know.”

“Alright,” I said in a very low and conspiratorial voice, “but we have to be careful. You can’t tell anyone, not even your roommate. And you have to go somewhere else first. I’ll pick you up there and take you to Cloverleaf. No one will know. I’m only doing this because we’re such good friends and, honestly, I like you. I think you’re cute and if it wasn’t for Adam I’d…”

I let my voice trail off, dropped my eyes and fidgeted with my notebook feigning embarrassment.

She got the message and looked both amused and pleased at my actions. She leaned all the way across the table and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

“Thank you Arlen, you’re a good friend and… I…I… I think you’re cute too!”

She gathered her stuff and walked away. It was only then that I noticed Roger sitting three tables away. He left shortly after her. Roger was Adam’s best friend. He was too far away to hear what we were talking about, but Adam would know soon that we were together and that she had kissed me.

I was a little late getting to the cafeteria for the evening meal. I saw them sitting together. Neither was saying much. It was as if they had an uneasy truce. Apparently she hadn’t told him what we talked about or even that we’d met. He obviously knew that we’d met and she’d kissed me but didn’t want her to know he knew. I was eating and talking to Gary when Roger came to the table and handed me a note. It was from Adam. He wanted to meet and settle this thing behind the maintenance garage. I was really surprised by that. He wasn’t a weakling, but he wasn’t nearly as strong or physically fit as me. He either had a really inflated ego, or he was planning something devious.


The maintenance garage was on the north edge of the campus hidden behind some very tall shrubbery. It was far from the main buildings including the dormitories. There was an excuse for a chain link fence surrounding it, but it was old, rusted, bent and easily broached. Not that anyone needed to; the gate had been broken off for years. Only the concrete block building was secure. None of the maintenance guys would be there in the evening. The note said eight-thirty. It was after sundown, but there was still good light.

I came through the gate into the large storage yard in the front which was filled with old broken and rusted equipment. The grass had been mowed that day and was lying in clumps. There was no one in the yard. I decided to sit down on an old John Deere mower and wait. I didn’t have to wait long. Adam stepped from behind the left side of the building and moved toward me. He was wearing jeans and the yellow shirt from his golf team at Turnerville High, his alma mater. The school name and logo was on the back along with the words “Golf Team.” I stood and as I did I noticed two other guys coming from the right side of the building. One was Roger. I didn’t know the other one.

“I didn’t think you’d come jag off! Did you bring your trained bitch to help you?

“I don’t need help, but apparently you do, wimp,” I said and took a few steps toward him. He stopped.

“Graber, we can make this real easy or you can get your ass kicked. It’s up to you. I know what you’re doing At ECCU and I don’t give a damn. You can screw all the skirts you like. We can divide them up if you want. But no one moves in on my territory. Caroline is mine, understand, dick head? I’m gonna be the one.”

“Sure, you’re the one. You couldn’t even handle Sally. She told me about your little problem when she wanted you to do it twice. You’re out of your league when it comes to this.”

He scowled and nodded to Roger and the other guy. They surrounded me like the points of a triangle and each was about five feet away. Roger slipped on some brass knuckles the other guy had a short section of pipe he’d picked up behind the building. It was obvious Adam intended for them to soften me up so he could beat me when I was hurt and weak from the struggle. What he didn’t know was that this was exactly what I had to do to become a member of the gang back home.

“Adam, let me tell you something about yourself,” I said. They all were listening for another insult. That’s not what they got. I kicked Roger in the groin as hard as I could, turned and punched the other buy in the gut putting him on the ground. Before Adam could move I had my switchblade out and the point against his throat.

Roger and the guy were rolling on the ground and Adam turned very white. He was swallowing hard. I kept the knife there and moved slowly around behind him and waited for them to recover.

“Now girls, I don’t want to hurt anyone any more than I have to. This is between me and Adam. So I would suggest that you ladies get your asses back to the dorm as fast as you can and don’t look back. GO!”

They both got up and in spite of the fact that Roger found it hard to walk they moved off as quickly as they could. I was alone with Adam.

“Graber, you’re insane!”

“Aw damn, you figured it out.”

“You can’t do this. They’ll lock you up.”

“The truth is I can and I am. Also, you should know that I’ve been locked up before. Besides, you’re not telling anyone about this. It would make you look even stupider that you are. Three against one – and walking around campus in your…

“Put your hands straight up in the air,” I said moving around to the front of him.

He did as he was told. I took my left hand, unbuckled his belt and let his pants drop to his ankles. I put the knife right up against the waistband of his briefs.

“Take off the shirt!”

“What? You can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m serious, and be careful. I wouldn’t want to slip and you wouldn’t want to lose anything of value down here.”

He took it off and threw it on the ground.

“I want the undershirt too.”

He took it off. I placed the knife against his throat again. There were tears of fear forming in his eyes.

“Now, very slowly and carefully, I want you to sit down and pull your jeans the rest of the way off. And, while you’re down there, lose the shoes and socks.”

“Alright,” he said, “Please be careful, Arlen, please!”

When he was finished I stood him upright wearing just his briefs and backed off a little.

“Don’t even think about moving. I can throw this thing with 98 percent accuracy at this distance. Listen carefully. Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna stand there until I’m out of sight. Then you can put your shoes and socks on and find your way back to the dorm. Although I would suggest you wait awhile until it’s much darker. I’ll leave your clothes in some public place, you be able to see them tomorrow.”

“Damn, I can’t go back on campus like this and what about my wallet. My room key is in it. It’s in my pants. You can’t do this to me Arlen.”

“I’ll leave your wallet. Not sure where you’ll carry it though. I would suggest you go the long way around the perimeter and not across the commons. I’d wait until about two in the morning; things should be pretty deserted by then.”

I stepped to within six inches up to his face, held the knife in front of his eyes and closed it. I let my eyes go cold and steely and my voice sound menacing. “And, Adam, if you ever try to set a goon squad on me again or open your mouth to anyone about this – believe me, I will cut you.


Friday morning the commons was crowded with students looking up at the dorm where Sally lived. Hanging from the railing of her balcony was a pair of boy’s jeans and a yellow shirt with Turnerville High Golf Team emblazoned on the back.

My tests were all finished by noon. I was sure I had reached my goal. I was sitting in the cafeteria with Gary. Caroline came through the door and came directly to my table. She was very upset. I nodded and Gary took the hint and moved to another table.

She sat down hard. She was angry and was crying at the same time.

“What’s wrong girl? I’ve never seen you so upset, not even that night at the restaurant.”

“Don’t even mention that. Oh Arlen I’ve had a terrible morning. I was so upset I know I blew my history exam. I want to kill him.”

“You want to kill who – or is it whom, I can never remember? Dr. Baker the history proff?”

“No, Adam of course! Pay attention Arlen.”

“I’m sorry. You want to talk about it? What’s on your mind?” I said pushing my tray aside but keeping my coffee cup.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t seen it. Everybody’s seen it. I’m so humiliated.”

“Caroline, it would help a great deal if you’d stop talking in riddles. I’ve been in classes taking tests all morning. I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

“Adam’s pants and shirt are hanging on Sally Roger’s balcony. What’s more, Adam’s roommate, Roger, told me Adam came in after two this morning and he was in his underwear. Everyone in his dorm saw him. They were all up cramming for tests. To think I believed all that garbage about her tripping and setting him up.”

I set my coffee cup down and did my best to look astonished. “In his underwear? Maybe he just got drunk, guys do stuff like that when their under pressure, like studying for tests, you know.”

“So how did his pants and shirt get on her balcony, huh?”

“Maybe they’re not his, maybe they belong to someone else. How do you know? I mean, Sally has a lot of friends. Could have been any number of guys.”

“Arlen, why are you defending the jerk? They’re his, who else would have a golf team shirt from Turnerville High?”

She was resting her chin on her hands with her elbows on the table. I gave her one of my ‘I’m sorry’ looks, pulled one of her hands away and held it.

“You’re right of course. I just hate to see you so emotional.”

“I went to his room just before I came here,” she said. She looked very sad and hurt now. “He wouldn’t even talk to me; wouldn’t open the door. It was like he was embarrassed or afraid to be seen with me. I don’t understand it. He’s never been like that before.”

I stood up, took her by the arm and she stood. “Look, I have to go to work. I’ll be back about five-thirty. They have a pick-up truck at the farm Mrs. Martin said I could use. After work I’ll come back and pick you up. We can go out to eat and maybe to a bar where we can dance. I want to get your mind off of all of this. You’re going to have to forget Adam. Let me help you.”

She dried her eyes with her hands and looked into my soft, warm, blue eyes. “Thank you, I think that would be just what I need now.”

Then she broke into a warm smile. “Arlen, I meant it. You’re a good friend, and you are cute.”


I was running just a little late. We’d had problems with one of the mares and by the time we got her settled it was six. I didn’t even have time to clean up the truck. At least there was no manure on it. But there were two or three bales of hay in the back. I took her to The Russler, a Ponderosa style steak house on route 40 in Aberdeen. It was an open, friendly place with picnic like tables and lots of western décor. There were spurs, and chaps and items like that on the wall, and even a couple of saddles by the doors. It reminded her.

“What about tomorrow, are we still going riding?”

I chewed on a piece of stake for a few seconds, swallowed and said. “No reason not to now. We can go and stay as long as you want. I’ve got Worrier, and I know an excellent mare you can ride.”

“Oh Arlen, that’s so wonderful,” she said reaching across her salad and grasping my left arm above the elbow. She smiled and raised her eyebrows. “You know, if a girl wasn’t careful, she could end up falling in love with you.”

After dinner I took her to Diamond Jim’s Tavern. We sat at a little table and had mixed drinks. She told me all about meeting and dating Adam. I let her get it all out. Then I asked her to dance. We would dance a while then stop and have another drink. She got real mellow and when we slow danced I pulled her tight against me. She put her head on my shoulder. I kept dropping my hands slowly and gradually lower until they were resting on her hips. It was then that I knew she was falling. She looked up at me starry eyed and put her arms around my neck. We kept dancing and when the music stopped, I kissed her.

She sat tight against me as I drove the truck back to campus. I had my right arm around her. Her left hand was on my knee. I pulled up to the curb in front of her dorm. I slid out and opened her door. She got out and I kissed her goodnight. Suddenly I heard a buzzing sound. It was coming from one of the bails in the truck. It was a bee. They kept bees at the farm for the clover. It must have wandered in there and got lost or stuck and had just made its way out.

All of a sudden she started hollering. “No! Arlen, keep it away. Kill it. I hate bees!”

It flew onto the roof of the truck and she screamed. I thought she’d wake the whole damn campus. I took my slip-on shoe off and smacked it. She grabbed onto me, held tight and cried.

“I hate them. I hate them! They sting and I swell up. I can’t breathe.”

I held her tight and brushed back her hair with my hand.

I spoke very quietly and firmly. “It’s alright, he’s dead Caroline. He can’t hurt you. You can trust me. I wouldn’t let him hurt you; wouldn’t let anything hurt you; not ever.”

I had found the stick.


When I got back to my dorm room Sally was there. She still had her clothes on but she was there.

“No! Not tonight, I’m not up to this bitch. Go find someone else to play with.”

“I know something you don’t know,” she chanted in a sing-song a few times like a third grader.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, sighed, looked down and slipped out of my shoes. There were still bee guts on one.

“Ok, tell me, what do you know that I don’t know?” I said as I pulled off my socks

“If I tell you, you have to let me stay.”

“I’m not making any promises. It might just be the price of some shit at the mall or something like that that I don’t give a damn about. How do I know it’s worth it?” I said as I slipped off my shirt.

“Well, alright. But I think you’ll think it’s worth it so I’ll take the chance. You’d probably find out tomorrow anyway. Adam came over and asked me to give him his golf shirt. He even said please and called me Miss Rogers. I gave it to him, of course. I didn’t want it in the first place. That was your idea. He said he was leaving. Had all his stuff in the car, I could see. I don’t think he’s coming back. Just what was it you did to him?”

Well, well, well, the coast was clear and I had the carrot and the stick. All I had to do now was play out the line. The fish had already bitten.

“I just showed him that, where women are concerned, I have an edge. He was so upset he took his clothes off and ran around campus in his underwear,” I said, now standing dressed only in mine.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “So what’s next?”

“Miss Randall and I are going horseback riding tomorrow.”

“So, can I stay?”

“Miss Rogers, you have performed remarkably well in this little venture. I think that calls for a reward of some kind. The cowboy rides again tonight!”


I arrived at the stable at seven. Mrs. Martin had already started the chores. I hurried in and got to work. I apologized for being late and I told her that I had really stressed out on the exams yesterday and was doing some celebrating last night.

She smiled and said, “Yep, boys will be boys; raised five of them. I know how it is.”

After work I went in and showered and came out to breakfast with my clean jeans and t-shirt on. She had already showered and cooked up some pancakes and sausage. I was famished.

“These are really good. You’re too good to me Mrs. Martin. By the way, thanks for letting me use the truck last night. My girl really enjoyed going out. We haven’t had much chance lately.”

“Think nothing of it, you’ve been a real help to me. I was really struggling to get things done with James being laid up. Not as young as I used to be. But you, Lord I don’t know where you get all that energy. I’m gonna miss you when James gets back. You going riding today? Warrior’s a little anxious, you haven’t ridden him for awhile.

“I want to but… I… I have to ask you a favor.”

“Well what is it son?”

“Well, Caroline… well she likes riding, has a horse of her own back home. I was wondering if I could bring her here and we could go riding together.”

She smiled broadly at my apprehension. “Of course, Arlen. I want to meet this gal. I want to see what it was about her that made you take this job in the first place. You told her you could ride before you learned, didn’t you?”

I lowered my eyes and let my shoulders sag a bit. I pushed a piece of sausage around my plate in the maple syrup.

“Yeah, I did, but it’s worse than that. I told her you hired me because I knew so much about horses and that… that is… well, I told her Warrior was my horse.”

Now she really laughed. There were actually tears in her eyes. I just looked as embarrassed as I could.

“Now I know I have to meet her. She’s that pretty, huh? You’ve got yourself into a real fix, haven’t you? Don’t worry, Arlen. I won’t tell her any different. You bring her by here today, you hear?”

I smiled. “Yes ma’am! That’s so great! Thanks Mrs. Martin, thank you so much.”


It was nearly ten when Caroline and I came through the gate at Cloverleaf Farms. Warrior saw me and kept running back and forth and stopping at the gate of the corral to whinny at me.

“That’s got to be your horse there. That’s Warrior, right? He’s strong and looks like just the kind of horse you’d have,” Caroline said.

Caroline was all ready to ride. She had on a western blouse, tight jeans, a cowboy hat and even had detailed riding boots. I had an old pair Mrs. Martin had given me. They had belonged to one of her boys. They fit me pretty good. Mrs. Martin came out of the house and I made the introductions.

She winked at me and said, “Smart move, Arlen, very smart!” Then she looked at Caroline’s puzzled face and said, “It’s an inside joke honey, don’t worry about it. You just enjoy yourselves.

“Arlen, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“I don’t think so,” I said with a bewildered look.

“Your boots, you left them in the parlor. You can’t ride in those.”

I had no clue what she was talking about but I played along and went inside to the parlor. There they were, a brand new pair of riding boots; beautiful leather with inlaid designs. I put them on. They fit perfectly. She must have taken my shoe size when I was in the shower one day. There was also a cowboy hat on the arm of a chair with my name in the lining. She planned this. She knew this day was coming; that I would bring Caroline here to impress her. What an interesting woman she was.

When I came out with the hat and boots on Mrs. Martin had taken the young mare out of the corral and Caroline was helping her saddle it. The gate was open and Warrior came trotting over to me. I saddled him and we were ready to ride.

And ride we did. The Cloverleaf was adjacent to another larger farm, and while there was a fence, there were also three gates. The owners had an agreement to allow each other access. It made for longer rides for both. It was nearly five when we brought the horses back and fed them. Mrs. Martin had cooked dinner for us and we sat and laughed and talked as we ate.

When we came back out there was a beautiful sunset behind the woods and a very light, warm breeze was blowing.

“Mrs. Martin would you mind if Caroline and I went out one more time? The horses are rested now and it’s such a beautiful evening. And, I would like to show Caroline the grove you told me about.”

I could see she was remembering that evening in the grove with John. She wasn’t sure what I had in mind, but knew it had to be romantic. She probably thought we would get engaged and the thought of that would have filled her heart with memories. How could she say no?”


We could have ridden directly to the grove about two miles out. But that was not the plan. I had helped her to experience the carrot in a big way. I might have worked. But I didn’t trust it alone. I needed to use the stick as well.

I took the long way around the hill with Caroline riding by my side and chatting about what a wonderful day it had been and thanking me for doing this for her. She was looking mostly at me and letting the mare have her head, with her hands only lightly on the reigns. The mare would follow next to Warrior unless directed to do something else.

We came over the hill and the sunlight burst out of the sunset into our eyes. She put her hand to her brow to shield her eyes and then she saw them; five beehives about ten feet apart from each other spanning the horizon. We could hear the soft hum of the colonies as the bees entered and left for the clover field. She screamed and scared the mare. The horse reared and then charged forward toward the hives. All Caroline could do was hang onto the saddle horn. Her left foot had slipped through the stirrup and she was just trying to maintain balance in the midst of her terror.

I spurred Warrior forward into a gallop. He was excited. He loved to run. In no time we were pulling ahead of the young mare. Just like in the movies, I reached down and grabbed the mare’s reigns and pulled hard to the left. The mare curved with Warrior and soon we had turned and were headed away from the hives. I didn’t stop until we reached the grove of trees.

I jumped down and ran to her. She dropped into my arms still screaming and crying. I held her until she was able to walk again, but her legs were weak and wobbly so I practically carried her. I found a mossy spot at the foot of an ancient giant oak, and laid her down. I lay down next to her. She was clinging to me and sobbing.

“It’s alright Caroline. You’re safe. We’re in the grove; the bees are way over on the other side of the hill. They can’t get you here. I won’t let them. Trust me. I won’t let them get you. I won’t let anything hurt you. I could never let anything hurt you. You mean too much to me.”

I had my left arm under her head and I kept stroking her hair, her face and her neck with my right hand and saying comforting things as the sobbing slowly subsided. She rolled slightly to the left and buried her face in my shoulder. I felt my shirt get wet from her tear drenched face. I stroked her back and her arm.

Then, without saying a word she lifted her head from my shoulder, looked into my eyes and closed hers. I pulled her tighter and kissed her softly but firmly. She opened her eyes and laid her hand gently on the side of my face and stroked my cheek. I kissed her again and she pushed me on my back. She rolled on top of me and began to unbutton my shirt.


It was nearly dark when we dressed and rode toward the stable. There were lights in the stable and farmhouse windows. Mrs. Martin had put the horses in their stalls and gone into the house. We unsaddled, groomed and put our horses in their stalls without speaking. I took Caroline’s hand and walked to the porch and sat on the steps. She sat there staring into my face with a look of satisfaction. I hated to do this now, but the sooner the better. She had to know. It wouldn’t be right for her to find out on her own. Besides, it could be real annoying for me.

“That was really great, girl. I’m so glad we had this day together. The fun, the horses, that wonderful moment in the grove; it was all terrific.”

“I feel the same way. It’s too bad the day’s over. But, now that we really know each other, we can do this often can’t we? We can spend lots of time together.”

“I’m afraid not. There’s something you need to know about me. I like you a lot. I think you’re cute and sexy and I enjoy being with you. But, Caroline – I don’t love you. It’s not your fault. I can’t love you. I can’t love anyone. I don’t have any emotions. I’m sorry, but for me this was all physical. It was so good, but it can’t ever be anything but physical with me.”

She looked at me, smiled and let out a little giggle. She wasn’t taking this as hard as I thought she would.

“I am disappointed in you, Arlen. I was hoping we could become more than friends, it could be so wonderful. You really are a cute guy. But, I don’t love you either.”

“I’m sorry your first experience has to be like this, really,” I said, and sortta meant it.

“Don’t worry about that, Arlen. I don’t want you to feel too bad about it. You weren’t the first. This wasn’t my first time.”

“What,” I said standing up and looking down on her, “You mean Adam beat me to it. I can’t believe this. He told me that…”

“No, Arlen, not Adam. I wouldn’t let that jerk do that.”

“Well, if not Adam, who?”

She stood up next to me took my hand and smiled. “Roger, Adams roommate. Sally told me that the best thing a girl could do to get even when she was really pissed off at her boyfriend was to have sex with his roommate. Like most guys, Roger was willing, so…

“Sally? Sally told you to do that? What the hell…”

“But it didn’t work out cause Adam left and never knew about Roger.

“Roger? Damn, who would have guessed? But Caroline, I wouldn’t ask him again, at least for a couple of days.

We walked back to school. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and headed back to my room.


When I got back to the room Sally was waiting. I had forgotten I still had the hat and boots on.”

“Damn, I didn’t think you’d start taking this cowboy stuff seriously, you look like John Wayne.”

“Hey bitch, it worked. That’s all that matters,” I said hanging Caroline’s blue undies on the board and crossing off her name.

I sat down on the bed and started to undress.

“So, you won both ways. You beat Adam up and you took Caroline down.”

“Not exactly,” I said as she sat down on the bed next to me. “You remember what you told Caroline about getting even with boyfriends?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well the little bitch took you seriously.”

She sat there with a blank look on her face as I removed my briefs and crawled into bed, sitting with my back against a couple of pillows. Suddenly the light came on in her empty head.

“No! That’s too good to be true. You and Adam race for the gold while Roger sits on the sidelines; and he wins?!”

“He wasn’t exactly on the sidelines,” I said as she crawled under the covers and sat next to me. “I made him pay for it even though I didn’t know about him at the time. It was just a lucky coincidence.”

“You know cowboy, I really like that look.”

It was then I realized I still had the cowboy hat on.

Suddenly she slipped out from under the covers and moved to the foot of the bed.

“What the hell are you doing bitch?”

“Stick your feet out, Duke, and I’ll put the boots back on you. I always wanted to spend the night with John Wayne!”